If Only
by Hannahthefabulous
Summary: Blaine is a new student at McKinley, still in fear and closeted due to the bullying at his former school. To keep up his straight image, he joins football and tries to fit in. Kurt is a nobody at McKinley. Most barely notice that he's there, and those who do resent him for who he is. What will happen when these two meet? Can they both fight through their fears to find happiness?
1. The First Day

If Only

Chapter One

Blaine has had more first days than he can count. Being a military brat, he has never stayed in any place for long. The longest was back in New York, but after his classmates found out he was gay, it became impossible to stay.

Blaine still has the scars to prove it.

His move couldn't have come at a better time, only a month after he got out of the hospital. He had just told his parents he fell down the stairs at school - he couldn't bear to tell them. Even if it meant not admitting to them who he was.

Well, what he was. He had stopped thinking himself as a person long ago.

* * *

Kurt was at the bottom of the food chain. People barely looked at him, and when they did, it was with disgust. Kurt had grown used to it and tolerant. He could handle the occasional slushy to the face, the bruise of his shoulder after it hit a locker, and even the verbal abuse he got each and every day.

But what he couldn't take was when it got worse. Much worse.

One of the football players, Karofsky, saw Kurt as the perfect target. He would wait for Kurt in the locker rooms after gym, on walks home, drag him into closets and empty classes when no one was looking, and take the abuse to far.

Way to far.

Kurt knew he needed help, but he couldn't explain what he was going through to anyone - people, including his friends, rarely realized he was there, and when they did they were too engrossed in themselves. Kurt couldn't tell them. Plus, no authority figure would believe him. As far as they knew, Karofsky was an upstanding student with great grades, respect for his elders, and a football star.

Kurt was just the lonely gay kid in glee who went unnoticed by most of his classmates.

As far as he knew, that's all he would ever be.

* * *

Blaine walked through the empty halls of McKinley clutching his new schedule, fear shaking his body.

"Just stay cool," he muttered under his breath. "No one will know. No one ever has to know."

He looked down at the now crinkled paper in his hands. Having spent so long in the office with the principal figuring out his transfer, it was already half way through his second hour calculus class. He was taking senior math even though he was a Junior. Even through all of his moves, he always managed to stay ahead in math. It was something he was good at. He expected this class to be a breeze.

But what he didn't expect when he walked in the room was for his heart to stop dead in his chest when he walked in the room. He didn't expect the hairs on his arm to stand up or the world to feel like it was stopping.

But that happened when he laid eyes on the boy sitting in the back row of the room. The boy glanced at the door, and the moment his crystal blue eyes met Blaine's hazel ones, he knew he was in trouble. Never had he seen a boy so poised and utterly perfect.

He was in trouble.

But he was determined to keep his "issue" quiet. He just had to get through two more years and he could go to college where people were more accepting, and his parents would never have to know.

This boy could ruin that.

* * *

Kurt couldn't help but gaze in astonishment at the boy standing in the front of the room introducing himself. Blaine Anderson was perfect. From the confidence he radiated to his goofy smile as he told the class who he was, Kurt couldn't help but smile back. But what shocked Kurt the most was the way the boy was looking back at him. Only at him. When he looked into Blaine's eyes, he could sense he wasn't as put together as he seemed...maybe even a bit scared? But Kurt shook it off. Of course he seemed scared, it's his first day at a new school. That's it.

But why was he looking at Kurt so intently?

Kurt tried to stop the butterflies in his stomach when Blaine sat down right next to him in the only available seat. Blaine didn't look as thrilled though...on the contrary, he looked sick.

_Blaine's been in this school for five seconds and he already doesn't like me_ Kurt thought to himself, noticing how Blaine was now avoiding eye contact at all costs.

Kurt tried to get himself to ignore the boy next to him, but he couldn't. He was obsessed with the perfect curls on Blaine's head to his beautiful eyes to everything about him. Kurt could not make himself hate him.

_If only Blaine wasn't straight, _Kurt thought to himself.

If only.

* * *

After his reaction to Kurt, Blaine knew he was going to have to do something to not only make it more convincing that he's straight, but also find a distraction. So after school when he passed the football field, he decided it was his best option.

Really, his only option.

He knew he was good at football. His father has been teaching him since he was practically out of the womb, and would drill him for hours. He had to be good if he wanted to survive in his house.

This was the one time he was thankful for that.

He basically walked onto the team. After seeing what he could do, Coach Beiste was head over heels with his talent, and immediately made room for him on the team. It would mean another player benching, but Blaine was on.

His fellow players looked impressed, and almost hopeful they may have a chance this year.

Hope is all Blaine could do. But most of his hopes didn't revolve around football.

If only he could get Kurt's face out of his head, maybe he could actually pull this off.

* * *

_**Hi guys! Thank you so much for reading! My name is Hannah :) This is my first fic I'm publishing, so I'm sorry if it's a bit eh, but I'm trying! So I can get better, pleaseeeee review and tell me what you think! You can find me on tumblr at .com Also, this is currently unbeta'd so if anyone wants to help that'd be awesome :) if not, I apologize if I don't catch everything. If people seem interested I'll probably write faster, so don't be shy! Review! Thank you :)**_


	2. Their Secrets

Chapter 2

Blaine's life became a whirl of football. He was either at school practice, hanging with his new "friends" on the team, or having his dad practice with him at home. Blaine had never seen his dad more proud than when he told him he made the team. His dad was thankful he wouldn't be dancing around on stage like a little "fag" anymore (Blaine shuddered at the word).

Before he moved to New York, Blaine had lived for about a year at a boarding school in Westerville, Ohio, not to far from Lima. It was perfect because he didn't have to keep moving around - he thought he could finally settle. He had friends who respected him and was part of the Warblers, Dalton's glee club.

He had even worked up the courage to come out to his friends, who accepted him with open arms.

But when his father found out about the Warblers, he was furious. His father wasn't blind - he saw all the signs of Blaine's "problem", as he referred to it. Mr. Anderson was a lot of things, but the man with the gay son would not be one of them.

So Blaine was pulled from Dalton, and moved to New York where he soon realized not everyone was as accepting as the Warblers. And instead of using songs and words to let out their feelings, they used their fists.

And sometimes, they went too far.

* * *

Kurt arrived at Glee early, his mind reeling. Just a few minutes before, Karofsky had banged him against the locker and leaned in close.

Threateningly close.

As Kurt began to try and squirm away from his grasp, Karofsky pinned him harder.

"Don't try to get away - enjoy it! Don't pretend like people other than me care about you or even notice you, because they don't."

"Get...off...me..." Kurt struggled to say as Karofsky attacked him.

"Don't forget I'm the only one who cares - without me, you'd be nothing," he says, and with a glare he let Kurt down and walked away as if nothing happened.

And so did Kurt.

He sat through Glee, still trembling in fear, but as people arrived, even if they talked to him, no one around him noticed the fear in his eyes or the trembling of his hands.

Maybe Karofsky was right.

Maybe no one really did notice.

Or worse, maybe they just didn't care.

* * *

Blaine stayed about a half an hour after practice on the field going over their work, so by the time he reentered the locker room it was empty. For the first time, he could act like himself without fear of people around him judging. He didn't even have that liberty in his own home.

For once he could just be Blaine. Even if only for a minute.

He felt more liberated than he had in years. As he jumped in the locker room showers, he felt his tough layer melting a way. And for once, he let it down and began what he does best.

He started singing.

It was soft at first, timid, but soon he was belting Katy Perry through the locker room like it was no ones business.

He was so intoxicated with the feeling of singing, he didn't even hear when two others entered the locker room.

He only noticed when he walked out of the shower to both of them standing there, looking shocked.

It was not only the self declared "badass" of the football team but also the quarterback himself.

Shit.

* * *

Trying his hardest to forget Karofsky's words from earlier, as Kurt walked home he couldn't help but think of how true they were. Even his friends, who he thought he could share anything with, only ever talked to him about themselves. They never noticed when Kurt was upset or scared.

Kurt knew he could put on a brave face, but he wasn't THAT good an actor. At least not good enough that his closest friends shouldn't be able to tell.

He sent identical texts off to Rachel and Mercedes asking if they wanted to sleep over tonight, and immediately got back excited responses. Maybe he was just overanalyzing - yes, they both could be diva's, but when it counted, they were there for Kurt.

Right?

When the two arrived, they immediately began gossiping. So much so that Kurt could never got a word in. Except for the occasional nodding and smiling, Kurt was silent throughout the entire night. Rachel went on and on about Finn while Mercedes went on and on about Sam. They didn't bother asking Kurt because they knew being gay he didn't have many options as far as boys.

But still, his mind kept wandering to the new boy. The attractive, straight, new kid. Kurt may not have a chance, but it wasn't a crime to look at him right? Or to think about him? Or to imagine what his lips taste like...

Kurt stopped himself. This was getting out of hand.

But still, Kurt couldn't help but feel left out of this sleepover. They didn't bother asking Kurt about anything. Kurt may have called this sleepover, but it was almost as if he wasn't a part of it.

It was almost as if he wasn't a part of anything anymore.

* * *

Blaine stood motionless as he watched the stunned expressions on the other two boys faces.

"_This is it. They've found me out. It's over," _Blaine thought to himself.

"Dude...you're amazing! Not only can you play football like a natural but you can sing?" the taller one, Finn, exclaimed, nearly jumping up and down with excitement. Blaine just stood with a mixture of shock and lingering horror as he watched. The other, Puck, looked less certain but not displeased.

"You HAVE to join Glee with us! If more football players join, maybe more people will consider it cool," Finn said excitedly.

"Glee? No, no, no, no, no I CANNOT!" Blaine exclaimed, starting to get worried. Blaine was finally making progress with his father - joining the glee club would be one giant gay step back.

"What? Is glee not COOL enough for you? Is that what you're saying? Are you saying being in glee makes a person any less of a badass?" Puck said, getting defensive.

"No..." Blaine said, stunned. He had no idea any of the football players were in Glee club, and would never have guessed Finn and Puck were.

"Good! Then you'll come out to audition?" Finn said with a hopeful twinkle in his eyes.

"_If other football players are in it, it's ok right? My dad never has to know!_" Blaine thought, rationalizing the decision to himself.

"Fine. I'll join, but-" Blaine began to say, but was interrupted as an over excited Finn began dragging him to the signup board.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

* * *

_**Thank you guys for all of the alerts and favorites, it really makes my day! And thanks to those who reviewed especially, you're awesome! Reviews make me happy, good or bad, so please do! Any ideas as to where you want this to go or what you think I should do/fix, please tell me! Again, you guys are all amazing! **_


	3. The Piano

Chapter 3

Blaine spent the entire night looking through his iPod for the perfect song to use for his audition. He had heard of the New Directions; last year, even though his father had banned him from doing Glee club, because nationals was in New York he went to watch. Of course he remembered their performance - who can forget. It was one of the best. Plus, it was made infamous by the totally awkward kiss at the end by the male and female leads.

_"Oh. That must have been Finn and that really loud obnoxious girl he's dating,"_ Blaine thinks, chuckling at the memory.

Either way, if he was going to join Glee club, he was going to do it in style. No one would forget his audition.

So while practicing proved difficult considering he had to sing at quieter than a whisper so his father wouldn't hear, he think he knew what he was going to do.

He would just need a bit of help.

* * *

Kurt spent the morning trying to avoid people. He was just not in the mood. Between hiding in constant fear from Karofsky to not wanting to put up with being ignored by his two best friends, he felt the best plan was to avoid everything.

But life is never that easy.

When Kurt sat down in a corner of the outdoor lunch area, he got his wish; no one bothered him. No one came looking for him.

He ignored the fact that this may mean no one cared enough to look for him. Well, tried to ignore the fact.

He thought about what he should do for this weeks Glee assignment. Mr. Shue put purple pianos around the entire school and urged the club to randomly break out into song when they saw one. This led to one more thing Kurt had to avoid; random purple pianos.

Apparently, the new kid didn't feel the same way.

Kurt watched from the side as most of the Glee kids entered the quad, obviously waiting for something. Kurt looked around, confused, then finally saw the face that had been plaguing his thoughts for some time.

Blaine.

"_It can't be. Joining Glee? Willingly? He's not the first football player but it's still a shock. No way," _Kurt thought, his mind racing.

But there he was, dapper as ever (Kurt thought dapper was the best description of him, it was goofy and cute as well), still in a football jersey with a ton of cheerleaders, singing the opening lines to "It's Not Unusual."

Kurt had been trying to deny it for days, but watching Blaine perform, he knew he was in trouble.

He had fallen for Blaine.

* * *

Blaine loved the feeling of performing. It was a moment where he could let the stress of life dissolve from him, hell, let Blaine dissolve from him, and just be. He knew he was good. As a freshman, he was the male lead of the Warblers, a title normally only afforded to seniors. But it had been so long since he had performed for an audience, he didn't know what to expect.

But he really didn't even care. He just loved what he was doing.

As the cheerios danced in perfect sync behind him, still on the high of performance, Blaine picked a face out of the crowd. A face that had been in an out of his dreams, his thoughts, his life.

Kurt.

Blaine, almost forgetting he was trying to keep up a straight facade, stopped thinking he was thinking for either the audience or even himself.

He started singing to Kurt.

And from far away, he knew Kurt knew it too.

So when the closing bars of the song ended and rang in the air, with a smile, Blaine turned away and pretended nothing happened.

But he had been so distracted he missed the piano randomly catching on fire.

He only got the chaos that came after.

* * *

Kurt was in awe. He could not shake off the feeling that Blaine was singing to him - FOR him. Maybe it was unconscious, but all Kurt knew is that Blaine stared at him the whole song.

Or maybe Kurt was just imagining things. Yes, that was the only sensible answer. There's no way a boy that perfect would ever go for him, even if Blaine was gay.

But what shocked Kurt most was the piano. Kurt was convinced Blaine had nothing to do with it - maybe he just hoped, but all the same. The question was how could it have happened? Pianos do not just randomly catch fire.

Kurt was so deep in thought he didn't notice when he bumped into someones chest. Looking up, he saw the face he feared most smiling down on him.

Next thing he knew, he was being dragged into a classroom, and Karofsky's hands were everywhere.

Then, only pain.

* * *

"How did you do it?"

"Why did you do it?"

"If you didn't want to join Glee you could have just not joined!"

Screams were erupting from the choir room, all geared toward Blaine, in anger at their lost piano. As many times as Blaine attempted to convince them otherwise, they didn't seem to listen. As all this was happening, Mr. Shue walked in the room.

"Mr. Shue, please escort this football Neanderthal out of the room with the bill for our piano please," Rachel said, leading the fight to get me kicked out.

"I believe your anger is aimed in the wrong place. Blaine, my apologies on behalf of the club and I hope you'll agree to stay with us; you have talent we need. Santana - you heard Rachel. The one responsible needs to leave. When you decide where your loyalty lies, come back," Mr. Shue said, his face not giving away any emotions.

"Mr. Shue, I would never-" Santana started, but was immediately cut off.

"Santana don't pretend you didn't. Just suck it up and go," Mr. Shue concluded. With that, Santana left.

"I think this will teach you guys a lesson in jumping to conclusions. But with that, please welcome Blaine Anderson to the Glee club!" Mr. Shue said, beaming.

The rest of practice was unordinary. But the only thing Blaine could think was that the only person who didn't accuse him was Kurt. Super attractive, single and hopefully gay Kurt.

The boy who would make trying to play straight at this school the biggest obstacle Blaine has ever faced.

Because all Blaine could think of was the boys beautiful blue eyes that tore through his soul.

After practice, Finn invited Blaine and a few of the other guys over his house to play video games. A few Blaine knew from football like Puck, Mike, and Sam but some were new faces like Artie and Rory.

After an hour or so of Puck losing embarrassingly to Blaine, and everyone else just laughing as the self proclaimed "champion" was taken down by the newbie, they all went to the kitchen to make a snack. It was fine until Blaine heard a voice he was not expecting.

"I'm here," Rachel announced from the door, her expecting tone ringing from the walls.

"Dude I thought no girlfriends!" Blaine said to Finn, uncomfortable with the intrusion.

"Oh I didn't invite her. She's here for-" but before Finn could finish his statement, Kurt came down the stairs.

"Rachel what was this giant emergency?" Kurt said, only vaguely aware Finn had company.

"I cannot think of a good audition song for NYADA - we HAVE to start practicing now, half a year is barely enough time to get ready!" she said, as their voices began to disappear up the stairs.

"Why is Kurt here," Blaine said, stunned by his sudden appearance.

"Kurt is my step brother," Finn explained.

Yep. If Finn and Blaine were friends, it was DEFINITELY going to be hard to pretend Blaine was straight.

He needed a plan.

And to get Kurt off his mind.

So when he got home, he called Santana.

* * *

_**I do not think I can begin to express how shocked and excited I am by how many of you have alerted and favorited this fic! And I am completely in love with the people who reviewed - legit you made my day. Thank you guys, it legit brings a smile to my face that people actually seem to semi enjoy this! Keep it coming 3 Oh, and of course I do not own Glee. Unfortunately. Reviews make me smile so tell me what you think, even if you think its bad so I can improve! Thanks guys :) **_


	4. Teenage Dream

Chapter 4

Blaine had run out of options. He knew he was falling to hard for Kurt and he knew getting too close to the kids in Glee might blow his cover; most of them have a pretty solid gaydar.

But no one would think he was gay if he was dating a girl.

A girl his impeccable gaydar tells him needs a cover too.

Plus, dating one of the hottest cheerleaders would probably help him climb the social ladder and stay on top. He would be the football star with the head cheerleader girlfriend - every guys dream.

Well, maybe not his dream but it'll do.

So when he called Santana and asked her to meet him at the Lima Bean, a local coffee shop, he knew he was taking a risk. But, he also knew having very recently pissed off most of the glee club and being very stubborn, she was the perfect person to play his fake girlfriend.

Plus, she was hot. Even if he was gay, he could admit that.

Blaine was a bit early, so he sat down at a table and ordered them both coffee. He had to guess a little on her order, but hey coffee is coffee she can't complain.

When she walked in, she looked as terrifying as ever. Blaine was still sort of upset over the piano incident, but he would have to get over that.

"Hobbit, you have five minutes. I have things to do, places to be," Santana said, sitting down and taking her coffee.

"Ok, Santana, here's the deal," Blaine started, mustering up as much confidence as he could. "I need a girlfriend, and you need a cover. I see the way you look at Brit."

"Oh, that's a good one hobbit, you think you can blackmail me. I'll have you know there is nothing between Brit and I," Santana responded.

"Please. Don't bother lying. Plus, you know dating a football player, especially with the rep I've been earning and will earn after we win our first game, will only help you climb the social ladder," Blaine said, trying to sound more cocky and confident than he really was. At least she couldn't see his hand shaking under the table.

"What's in it for you?" Santana mused.

"I need popularity if I want to be in Glee club and football without dying. The new kid will get destroyed if not. You're head cheerleader," I responded.

"So you want your popularity to be based on a lie?" she piqued.

"My whole life is based on lies. Don't be to flattered to be one of them," Blaine responded.

"Fine, Hobbit. You've got yourself a deal but only because your fierce attempt to get yourself to the top reminds me of myself. Don't you for a second think you have anything on me," Santana answered.

Blaine prayed this would work.

* * *

Kurt wouldn't have believed it if he didn't see it with his own eyes. But there they were, Blaine and Santana walking down the hall hand in hand. He wasn't sure if it was the fact that Santana had sabotaged Blaine's performance just the day before or the fact that he had always thought Santana had a thing for Brittany, that shocked him most. Plus, there was the writhing jealousy, but Kurt would just ignore that. He had fallen for a straight guy one to many times. He was not letting it happen again.

If only his body could agree. But even though Blaine was next to Santana, the butterflies in his stomach wouldn't subside.

Splendid. Just fucking splendid.

In calculus, Kurt could barely manage to look at Blaine. Every time he did, only confusion hit him. _None of it makes sense._

"None of what makes sense, Mr. Hummel?" the teacher mused.

"This lesson just isn't clicking - may I come after school?" he recovered. Shit, he didn't realize he said that out loud. Plus, maybe coming after school would help - he actually did need to learn this, and this Blaine drama was to distracting.

After the teacher went back to her lesson, he heard a giggle to his side.

"Guessing you weren't actually thinking about math?" Blaine said, for the first time addressing Kurt.

"Of course I was," Kurt replied.

"She was going over long division for Finn. I know you're smarter than that," Blaine laughed.

"Hey Finn can sometimes be smart - wait, long division? Seriously?" Kurt replied, and both boys burst out into a giggle fit. The teacher glared at them, and they immediately stopped, smiles still plastered on their face. They didn't speak the rest of class, but something felt different between them, like the ice was finally broken.

Which only proceeded to confuse Kurt more.

* * *

Glee practice was just awkward. Blaine had gone from being the enemy, to being forgiven, to almost being one of the boys, to now being scrutinized for dating Santana. People couldn't believe he would date her after the fire incident and began requisitioning why he joined the club.

"If he is going to insist on being here, I think he should at least sing properly for us. Without anything blowing up this time," Rachel demanded.

"Challenge accepted," Blaine said, standing up. "I'm going to need a bit of backup though, so join in!" He offered, and without any music, began singing the song he used to sing so many times. The Warblers spent months perfecting this song - he knew he could do it at the drop of the hat.

_Before you met me, I was alright, but things were kinda heavy, you brought me to life, now every February, you'll be my valentine - Valentine. _

Blaine may have sung these words constantly, but never had he felt they had so much meaning before. He couldn't stop staring at Kurt, imagining what his arms would feel like around him, Kurt's lips touching his own...

_Lets go all the way tonight, no regrets - just love. We can dance until we die, you and I, will be young forever. _

The rest of the glee club joined in and began dancing along, singing background. For the first time Blaine felt a real connection with them, even if just minutes ago each of them thought he was non committed to the club.

_ You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream, the way you turn me on. I can't sleep, lets run away and don't ever look back, don't ever look back. _

Blaine felt himself loosen up and began to dance as he sung, laughing with the other clubbers, while still keeping his eyes on Kurt, who was unquestionably staring back.

_ Lets go all the way tonight, no regrets just love. We can dance until we die, you and I, will be young forever._

If only it were that easy.

_ You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream the way you turn me on, I can't sleep lets run away and don't ever look back don't ever look - Ima get your heart racing in my skin tight jeans be your teenage dream tonight._

Oh god, why did Kurt have to wear jeans that looked painted on. This just wasn't fair.

_You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream, the way you turn me on, I can't sleep lets run away and don't ever look back don't ever look back. My heart stops, when you look at me, just one touch, now baby I believe, this is real, lets run away and don't ever turn back, don't ever turn back. _

The next thing Blaine remembers is leaving Glee as everyone was patting him on the back. Finally, Kurt came up to him, and asked him to stay for a second after everyone left, making up an excuse about not understanding the calculus homework. But once everyone left, he realized that wasn't it.

"Blaine...why did you stare at me the entire performance?" Kurt wondered. Then, without thinking, Blaine brought Kurt toward him and locked their lips together. The moment was like nothing either ever expected. It was perfect. At first it was timid, but then neither could deny the heat and the kiss deepened. After what felt like an eternity and a second all at once, Kurt pulled away, looking more confused than ever.

"What...what just happened?" Kurt stammered.

"Please...don't tell anyone. Please," Blaine begged, before running out of the door.

Kurt knew Blaine could deny a lot of things, but there is no way he could deny that kiss meant something. And Kurt was going to find out what.

* * *

_**Thank you guys again for reading! Sorry this took so long, I was at a debate tournament! I am going to try to upload much more often now to make up for my absence, but I may be inspired to write faster if I get a good response to this chapter so review please :) And thank you to everyone who has been reviewing, honestly your reviews make my day. Like, I begin jumping up and down like a five year old. Seriously. But thank you for reading :) And once again, don't own Glee. If I did, it would be an hour of Klaine making out. No regrets :) **_


	5. Their Pain

Chapter 5

Blaine couldn't stop thinking about the kiss. He couldn't imagine anything better than having Kurt's lips on his own, the way Kurt smelled, and the way time seemed to stop when they were together. Everything about Kurt was perfect from his crystal blue eyes to his extremely talented lips. Kurt could never deserve a closeted loser like Blaine. Right?

Plus, Blaine couldn't bear imagining what could happen if people found out about the kiss. He couldn't go back to that place. The bullying at his last school was to much to handle. Instinctively, Blaine brought his hands up to his shoulder, feeling the scratches and marks where the knife had cut him.

No. He couldn't go back to that place. He wouldn't survive.

Kurt didn't deserve someone as damaged as him.

No one did.

* * *

Kurt still couldn't believe what happened. He had been beyond shocked when Blaine kissed him. So many thoughts were passing through his mind. He didn't know why is happened; was Blaine gay, or just confused? Why was Blaine dating Santana if he kissed Kurt? He understood why Blaine wanted to keep it a secret, but the look on his face was nothing like he was used to.

When Karofsky threatened to keep a secret, he looked menacing and deathly. With Blaine, he looked...scared.

The thought of comparing Blaine to Karofsky made Kurt shudder. Blaine was nothing like Karofsky, and even though they barely knew each other Kurt knew there was no way Blaine would ever do anything to him.

Karofsky had no such reservations.

Kurt could still feel the pain when just thinking about Karofsky, the fear he feels when Karofsky kisses Kurt, the pain he feels as he grabs him, the disgust he feels when Karofsky tries to touch him...

Kurt sat on his bed and began crying to himself. No wonder Blaine wanted to keep it a secret - who would ever want Kurt?

Why would anyone want Kurt?

* * *

School the next day was torture. Blaine tried to pretend everything was the same, but all he could think about was how his world had basically toppled over with one kiss. He would sit in class imagining and thinking of nothing but Kurt, and dreamed of a world where he wasn't so afraid and they could be together.

If only that were possible.

In calculus, Kurt was silent. He took his notes, did his work, and never once looked over at Blaine. Blaine was flipping out trying to figure out what that meant. Did Kurt not even want to talk anymore? Calculus had quickly become his favorite class of the day, and now he was losing the one thing that made it great.

Blaine was so busy sulking, he barely noticed when Kurt dropped a paper on the floor and attempted to signal Blaine to pick it up. Finally realizing, Blaine grabbed it, and looked around making sure no one saw before opening it.

_Blaine,_

_ We need to talk. I understand you don't want to, but I do. After Glee. _

_ -Kurt._

Blaine began freaking out. Was Kurt going to yell at him? Tell him he was a jerk? Not that it wouldn't be true. He felt bad about making Kurt swear to secrecy like Kurt was some dirty little secret, but Blaine couldn't afford for people to find out. However, before he could answer Kurt, the bell rang and Kurt darted out of the room.

Blaine was left awestruck, and tried to think of anything but how great Kurt looked in those pants.

And how Kurt could never be his.

* * *

Later that day, at practice, coach Beiste was trying to pump them up for their game the next day. Blaine was officially placed on starting line, and the team was convinced that they would be able to win with how they've been playing.

No one even noticed Karofsky's absence from practice.

So later, when Kurt didn't show up for Glee, Blaine was worried. His thoughts ranged from Kurt trying to avoid Blaine to Kurt being angry at the kiss.

Maybe Kurt changed his mind; maybe not showing up was his way of telling Blaine he wasn't worth even talking to.

So after Glee, as Blaine left, he only felt disappointment. He understood why Kurt had changed his mind and didn't want to talk about it, and honestly it was probably better for Kurt if he didn't get to close to Blaine.

It was probably better for everyone.

Blaine tried to take a while packing his things just in case Kurt randomly showed up, so by the time he left the school was pitch black and everyone was gone. So Blaine thought it was really weird when he passed a classroom with the light still on.

Curious, Blaine entered the room and then couldn't move from shock.

Kurt was sprawled on the floor, bleeding, clothes torn and ripped, quietly whimpering.

"Blaine..." Kurt whispered, barely able to speak.

"KURT!" Blaine screamed, running to Kurt's side.

"Oh my god - we need to get you to a hospital!" Blaine said, freaking out. "What...who...how?" he continued, unable to collect his words. Blaine's usual grace and collectiveness was gone at the site of the boy he loves lying broken on the floor.

_Wait, love?_

And the second Blaine thought it, he knew it was true.

Blaine was in love with Kurt.

"Blaine...really, I'm fine. Just a few scratches and bruises. I just...didn't feel anyone would care if I was gone so I stayed," Kurt said, struggling to form the words.

"I care. I was so worried during Glee when you didn't show up, I thought it was because you hated me!"

"I could never hate you. Ever," Kurt responded. "I understand why you wouldn't want to be with someone like me."

Blaine shuddered at the words. Did Kurt really think of himself that negatively.

"What happened Kurt?"

"I...tripped..."

"From experience, none of these come from tripping. Who did this to you?"

"Experience? You're Blaine Anderson! Who would ever do this to you?"

"There's a lot you don't know about me Kurt...a lot. Who did this?" Blaine tried again, more stern then last time.

"...he told me he'd kill me if I told," Kurt responded.

"He will not touch you. Not as long as I'm around. Never again. You just have to tell me who did this."

"...It...it was Karofsky...he dragged me into the room...and began attempting to take my clothes off," Kurt began, filling Blaine in. "I struggled, kicking him as he tried, but he overpowered me. He pinned me to the floor and began...touching me, bruising me and making me scream in pain. Still, no one came. After a bit he decided it was his turn, took of his own clothes and grabbed my hand and began...forcing me to comply. I tried to stop him, and he kept hitting me. After he got what he wanted, he nearly knocked me unconscious and walked away. I've been here ever since," Kurt explained, as both boys began to cry.

"Shhh...Kurt it's going to be ok. Everything is going to be ok. You're bruises aren't terrible so we don't need to go to the hospital, but I'm bringing you back home and making sure you get to sleep safe and that your wounds are tended to. Finn's mom is a nurse right? So she can help?"

"No. Carole can't know - she'll tell my dad, and he has to much to worry about with his heart problems and-" Kurt began, getting cut off.

"Kurt, you have to let the people in your life take care of you. Please?"

"Blaine...why are you doing this? Helping me?"

"_Because I love you," _Blaine thought to himself before replying.

"Because I know what it feels like to think you're alone," Blaine replied before carefully helping Kurt up and leading him to the car.

* * *

_**Sorry this was such an...intense chapter, but it had to be done. So tell me what you guys think :) Thank you guys for reading! Also, reviews make me happy! I do not own Glee. If I did, there would be to much Klaine to function. **_


	6. The Aftermath

Chapter 6

As Blaine drove to Kurt's house, he couldn't help himself from taking quick glances at Kurt. Blaine knew his feelings were silly; he just met Kurt, and knew almost nothing about him, yet somehow it seemed so right; so perfect.

Even while watching Kurt struggle and shake, Blaine couldn't help but think that Kurt was perfect.

It pained him that Kurt didn't think the same way.

Both were nearly silent as they drove the short distance to Kurt's. Neither knew what to say; what could they say in a situation like this? So despite the awkward silence, neither felt the need to fill it.

When they rolled up to Kurt's house, Kurt turned to thank Blaine before he left, but Blaine was already out of the car and walking around to Kurt's side. Opening the door, he carefully helped Kurt out.

"You don't have to help me you know...I can take care of myself," Kurt mumbled.

"I know. But I could never forgive myself if I didn't," Blaine answered, practically holding Kurt up as they walked to the door and rung the bell, Blaine not wanting Kurt to have to dig for his keys.

Finn opened the door with his usual goofy smile, but that immediately disappeared when he saw the state Kurt was in. He looked to Blaine with a confused face, before screaming for Carole and Burt.

"Finn, relax, I'm fine," Kurt said, briskly walking in (well, limping a bit) and leaving Blaine at the door. Blaine tried to explain to Finn what happened, and after being let in recounted the story again to Burt and Carole.

"Blaine stop making me sound hopeless - I was doing fine before you came!" Kurt glared.

"Yes Kurt, because wincing on the ground is pain is perfect," Blaine responded, and saw Burt wince. Burt immediately picked up the phone and walked out of the room, which Blaine guessed was to call the school board. Burt had not said a word since Kurt walked in, just looked scared and frozen. But now, Blaine heard his screams in the other room on the phone.

"Kurt, I'm going to run out and get you some medicine and a few wraps for your wounds. Your injuries aren't that serious so we don't need to go now, but I'm going to call your doctor and we are going to go in first thing in the morning," Carole said, hugging Kurt as she did. "Blaine, you can stay with Kurt now, I'm sure you both need the company after what happened. Finn, come with me; I could use an extra set of hands." Blaine could understand why she was such a good nurse; she was able to stay so calm and level headed, something Blaine admired about her.

As they left, silence filled the room. Neither boy knew how to begin so they sat in the living room in silence, until Kurt finally broke it.

"Thank you...for finding me tonight...and for caring. I don't know why you did it, but thank you," Kurt almost whispered.

"I did it because I wanted to, and because I cannot stand to see you hurt," Blaine answered.

"But...you're Blaine Anderson! You've been here, what, two weeks, and half the school already bows down to you! What does it matter if someone like me is hurt," Kurt replies.

"It will always matter to me; Kurt, I know we haven't known each other long but I consider us...friends," Blaine started. "Joining Glee and getting to spend time with you, even though I haven't been in it long, has been fantastic. And just because I'm in football doesn't mean I don't care - look at Finn!"

"But...why me? I mean, I think we need to talk about it...the kiss," Kurt barely whispered the last word.

"Ok, lets talk about it. Kurt, you move me. I know we haven't known each other for long, but there is this crazy attraction I couldn't deny when we were in that choir room, or for that matter whenever I'm with you. I'm sorry - I shouldn't have taken advantage of you like that."

"But, aren't you straight? What about Santana?"

"It's only to keep up appearances - she wants to stay high on the food chain and I need...well, I just don't think I can deal with people knowing...about it..."

"Oh," Kurt started, realizing what Blaine meant, but confused all the same. "So...you know that you're...you know?"

"Yes...I know. But the last time I came out, it wasn't so easy...I just can't do it again." Kurt sat in shock. Perfect, kept together Blaine, was not only gay, but previously bullied?

"I understand why you wouldn't want to go through it...if I could do it again, I would probably make the same choice. But still, why me?"

"Kurt, you're perfect. If you would let me, I would like to get to know you," Blaine started.

Without hesitation, Kurt leaned in and kissed Blaine furiously. Unlike the last kiss, this wasn't tentative but rather needy; they both moved fast against each other, trying to almost memorize every piece of each others mouths. By the time they separated, both boys were breathless.

"...what now?" Kurt began, more confused than ever.

"I really want to be with you Kurt, I am just not near ready to come out to everyone. I can't face it...not again," Blaine started.

"So lets keep it a secret," Kurt said, a smile on his face.

"You'd...you would be ok with that?" Blaine was stunned.

"Sure! It could be sort of fun to sneak around, like Chandler and Monica did on friends! And if and when you're ready, we can go public. I won't pressure you," Kurt said.

"I would feel bad...I don't want you to be my dirty secret - you deserve so much more than that," Blaine stammered.

"Even if I did, it wouldn't matter - I just want you," Kurt said, and then they were kissing again. When Finn and Carole got back, they reverted to just talking about themselves, sharing everything with each other, from their favorite color to favorite musicals. Blaine was upset when he had to leave, but he knew Kurt needed his rest.

Blaine, as he drove away, couldn't help but think that this was the happiest he has ever been.

* * *

**_Thank you guys for being amazing 3 I love the reactions this has been getting, thank you :) Keep it coming!_**


	7. Fear

Chapter 7

Blaine was utterly torn - he didn't understand how he could be the happiest person in the world and the most depressed and scared person in the world all at once. As he walked through the school, he imagined what would happen when people found out about him and Kurt; what his football friends would think, what his teachers would think, even what random people he never met would think. Throughout the day he had to sit down and breathe to stop the unavoidable shaking of his body from fear.

But every bit of that fear went away with one simple look at Kurt; Kurt was Blaine's, and even if no one knew it, Blaine was Kurt's. Their relationship was simple; a few stolen glances across the classroom, brief stares as they crossed each other in the hall, and in the rare occasions when no one was around, dragging each other into empty rooms and bathroom stalls for a brief make out session. Blaine never felt like this about anybody. He'd had crushes before, but nothing this serious. It was an undeniable connection, and nothing else compared to the feeling of being with Kurt.

Blaine had everything he could ever ask for - after their recent victories in football Blaine ruled the school, and walking hand in hand through the halls with Santana made every boy want to be him and every girl want to date him. Plus, with Kurt he felt like he was in a dream.

But he couldn't shake off the feeling that his dream would quickly turn into a nightmare.

* * *

Kurt was confused and scared - so basically, feelings he felt every day he walked into school. However, Blaine, as confusing as the situation was for Kurt, was a dream come true. Kurt felt so comfortable around him, and every time they were together he had issues keeping his hands to himself and his thoughts from wandering. However, nothing about the situation was easy. Sure, he agreed to the secrecy, but it was hard - seeing Blaine walk around with Santana through the school was like a constant punch to the gut. He knew he and Blaine culd never have that, but that only made it harder. Seeing Blaine talk and laugh with some of Kurts tormenters was almost worse. But, not being able to talk to Blaine during school was by far the hardest. His one perfect place was glee. While they obviously couldn't come out with their relationship to anyone in glee, it was a place where they could talk and laugh without anyone questioning - inside the choir room, they could at least be friends with no judgement. They could sing about their feelings toward each other with no one questioning who they're singing for. So, when duets week came around, they willingly paired up, making an excuse to the others about how their working on a math project together so they could practice at the same time.

But Kurt's fears still laid with one person; Karofsky. After his dad's phone call the night Blaine brought Kurt home, Karofsky had been expelled. However, Karofsky's parent's were currently trying to counter the expulsion by pointing out the lack of proof. It was Kurt's word against Karofsky's, and Karofsky tried to play Kurt off as an attention seeking child who needed an excuse to stand out in the crowd.

The only problem was, Kurt was realizing he liked it much better when he blended in. Story spread about how Kurt had made claims that Karofsky had tried to sexually assault him, and instead of people being furious at Karofsky, they were furious at Kurt. Not only did he get their friend "wrongly" expelled, he made up "lies" about Dave.

Kurt was beat up between classes, had an average of three slushies thrown at him a day at very least, and had a garbage can throwing almost every hour.

It was torture.

But, as perfect as Blaine was, he hardly noticed. The other football players tried to keep it quiet from the ones in glee club - they didn't want the congressman's son to get them expelled either, nor did they want anyone to come to Kurt's aid and be witnesses, and they knew the glee clubbers would fight to ensure that happened.

So, because Blaine rarely saw Kurt during school hours, he was no help. And, like usual, Kurt was still alone.

* * *

Blaine and Kurt sat on Kurt's bed trying to think of a good song to sing. All the while, Kurt kept debating himself on if he should tell Blaine about the increased bullying. Kurt knew Blaine would care - Blaine would probably try to beat the shit out of every single one of Kurt's tormenters if he knew. But Kurt couldn't bear to tell Blaine - he knew how painful it was for Blaine to come out at his last school, and knew if he stuck up for Kurt people would jump to that conclusion. The correct conclusion, but still.

No, it was safest if Blaine didn't know.

But for now, ignoring the bullying, their relationship was perfect. Their was never an awkward moment, even if they weren't talking or doing anything at a certain point, the boys were thrilled just if they were with each other. Moments they weren't kissing passionately, they were sharing every bit of their lives with each other, laughing, and smiling together.

"What do you think of this song? I think it describe's us clearly, and no one will realize," Kurt suggested.

"Kurt, Taylor Swift might be a bit weird to do for this," Blaine laughed.

"You not up for the challenge?" Kurt tried.

"You know what? Challenge accepted," Blaine said before leaning over and kissing Kurt passionately, making them both forget what they were even talking about.

The next day in Glee, the boys offered to go first - they had spent the entire night practicing and were ready. Santana had rejoined glee after swearing her loyalty to glee, so she pecked a kiss on Blaine's cheek before he went up. Normally, Kurt would have been furiously jealous, but he just couldn't help but think how even more perfect the song now was in context, and he was thrilled with the choice.

The band began the first notes of the song, and without hesitation Kurt began the first verse.

_**You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset**_

_** She's going off about something that you said**_

_** She doesn't get your humor like I do.**_

_** I'm in the room, it's a typical tuesday night**_

_** I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like**_

_** She'll never know your story like I do.**_

_** But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts**_

_** She's cheer captain, and I'm on the bleachers**_

_** Dreaming about the day when you wakeup and find**_

_** That what you're looking for has been here the whole time.**_

Kurt sent a small wink to Santana as the rest of the glee club was dancing, so no one noticed but her. He smirked briefly, before turning his attention back to Blaine as Blaine joined in during the chorus.

_**If you could see that I'm the one who understands you, **_

_** been here all along so why can't you see?**_

_** You belong with me**_

_** You belong with me**_

Blaine took the next verse, thinking about all the time he has spent with Kurt - their jokes, their glances in passing, their relationship.

_**Walking the streets with you in your worn out jeans**_

_** Can't help thinking this is how it ought to be,**_

_** Laughing on the park bench, thinking to myself**_

_** Hey, isn't this easy.**_

_** And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town,**_

_** I haven't seen it in awhile since he brought you down.**_

Blaine, replacing the she with a he in the line, thought of how much he would kill Karofsky if he ever saw him again. No questions asked. And he knew all of the other glee kids felt the same way - since that night, they had tried to be more attentive and understanding to Kurt, and very overprotective.

Unfortunately, when they were separated during school, Kurt's tormenters still always found him.

_**You say you find I know you better than that-**_

Kurt took the next line of the verse, cutting Blaine off

_**Hey, whatcha doing with a girl like that?**_

_** She wears high heels, I wear sneakers**_

_** She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers**_

_** Dreaming bout the day when you wake up and find**_

_** That what you're looking for has been here the whole time**_

Their voices came together for the chorus, and neither could tear their eyes away from each other.

_**If you could see that I'm the one who understand you, **_

_** been here all along so why can't you see?**_

_** You belong with me**_

_** Standing by waiting by your back door**_

_** All this time how could you not that?**_

_** You belong with me**_

_** You belong with me**_

The next lines they traded off, each singing every other line to each other.

_**Oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night**_

_** I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're about to cry**_

_** I know your favorite songs, and you tell me about your dreams**_

_** I think I know where you belong, I think I know it's with me.**_

Blaine took the next verse, quieting his voice for impact.

_**Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you**_

_** Been here all along so why can't you see,**_

_** You belong with me**_

Kurt joined in, and the energy came back to the song as the final words were sung.

_**Standing by or waiting at your backdoor**_

_** All this time, I could you not know that**_

_** You belong with me**_

_** You belong with me**_

_** Have you ever thought just maybe**_

_** You belong with me**_

_** You belong with me**_

When the song ended, the glee club clapped enthusiastically, loving their performance. Both boys couldn't imagine being happier.

Little did they know, down the hall and in the principals office, their worst nightmare was about to become a reality.

Karofsky was back.

* * *

_**Sorry this took so long, its my last day before I leave for college so for the past while my friends have taken over my life because I won't see them for awhile, so I haven't had time to write. I hope you guys like this chapter though, review and alert :) And as always, I do not own anything including, specifically for this chapter, Taylor Swift and her music. Tell me what you guys think and thank you so much for reading, seriously you guys are awesome! **_


	8. The Return

Chapter 8

Kurt enjoyed every minute he spent with Blaine - from singing either in Glee or in the private of either of their rooms to talking about their lives, everything with Blaine felt so easy. His time with Blaine was perfect in every sense. Plus, stopping to make out all the time helped a lot.

But within school, people could barely guess they were friends let alone secretly dating. Between Blaine's football friends and social status, Kurt always stayed in the shadows, watching Blaine from afar, and wishing that it could be him walking hand and hand down the hall with Blaine and not Santana.

But Santana did notice Kurt and Blaine. How they always sent flirtatious glances back and forth as Kurt passed her and Blaine through the hall. How comfortable they seemed with each other in glee.

Plus, how could she forget not only their song in glee, but Kurt's wink.

She knew Blaine was gay, but seriously he needed to step up the heterosexual act. Now that she was involved, if it was found out he was gay, she would either be the girl who was cheated on, or they would find out about her to.

And she was not about to let that happen.

Her and Blaine were about to get a whole lot more serious.

She would make sure of it.

* * *

Kurt stood at his locker fixing his hair. It was right before math class, and even if they couldn't really talk in class for fear of being found out (and because their teacher kept yelling at them), Kurt wanted to look good for Blaine. He didn't even notice when the bell rang and everyone filed out of the halls. He only was smacked out of his imagination and thoughts of Blaine and back into reality by a familiar force lifting him by the neck into the air.

"Karofsky...what...you were expelled!" Kurt said quietly as Karofsky pushed down on his vocal chords.

"Who was the school really going to believe in the end? Me, or a fag like you?" Karofsky said, tightening his grip. "You need to be taught a lesson. If anyone finds out anything about this or any other action, I swear to god I will kill you. Now behave. Or it will just hurt much more."

Karofsky let Kurt down, and motioned for him to follow. Kurt shook with fear, and stayed in his spot.

"Fine. Have it your way," Karofsky threatened, and grabbed Kurt by the shirt, dragging him into the nearest closet. Within moments, he began attempting to grasp at the fabric of Kurt's pants, yanking them down, and grabbed a towel from the cleaning supplies in the closet and forced it into Kurt's mouth, pulling the edges.

"Don't scream. And remember, if you tell anyone, you're dead meat."

* * *

After math class, Blaine was worried. He knew Kurt had come to school today - he saw him passing earlier. Why wouldn't Kurt have come to math? Karofsky was gone, so hadn't the bullying subsided.

Blaine was so deep in thought, he barely noticed when Santana walked up. He only noticed after she grabbed his waist, and immediately after he turned around, she started kissing him passionately in the middle of the hall. Stunned for a few seconds, Blaine pulled back.

"Santana!"

"I know, you missed me," Santana said before lunging back at him. Blaine was aware of the crowd forming around them, some completely jealous, some judging their taste in the hall.

"Santana, hun, can we please move this to a place a bit more...private," Blaine attempted.

"Of course," Santana smirked, grabbing his hand and leading him to the area under the bleachers (which she chose to give people just the right idea).

"Santana, what the hell!" Blaine yelled, furious.

"Blaine, be quiet or someone will hear you!" she retorted.

"I think you've forgotten that we aren't actually dating!" Blaine started. "What about Brittany? God, you're going to ruin everything for me!"

"Ruin what, exactly? Look, when we started "dating", you told me it was all for popularity. But, if this was just for popularity, this wouldn't be ruining anything - I would only be helping. So there's more to your purpose for this relationship, isn't there? Maybe a specific person, to be exact? "She" isn't going to be so happy we're dating, unless she really isn't-"

"Fine, Santana you found me out. Congratulations. But it's not even that - what if Brittany was watching from the crowd of people around us? How would she feel?"

"Look I may love Britt, but she's not the brightest person. I don't even think it crossed her mind that me dating you could even mean me cheating on her," Santana started. "But look, your obviousness is going to find us out. Unless you want that, we have to be much more relationship-y. Get it hobbit? Otherwise, prepare for a breakup that makes you look so bad you not only lose your popularity, you may lose your secret. I use blackmail well. See you around hobbit," Santana ended, walking away.

Blaine cursed and exited after her.

What he didn't expect was Mercedes sitting on the bleachers, listening to the entire conversation under her.

Stunned, she got out her phone and texted her best friend.

* * *

After the incident, Kurt couldn't move. Part of it was pain, but the other part was his body in severe shock. He couldn't handle it. He couldn't. His body was incessantly shaking, and every few minutes he started to hyperventilate.

He couldn't tell. He just couldn't. He couldn't imagine the sorry faces everyone would give, the fake care, and he couldn't stand to see the look on Blaine's face if he ever found out. Plus, even if he did tell, no one would believe him. It would be the same as last time.

Just this time it was so much worse.

Blaine didn't deserve someone with as much baggage as him. He couldn't make Blaine go through this emotional train wreck he was. Blaine deserved so much better.

He had to end it.

At that moment, Kurt's phone vibrated. It had been nonstop with texts from Blaine for awhile, wondering why he never showed up to class, worrying, so Kurt decided to answer this one and tell Blaine they needed to talk.

However the message wasn't from Blaine, but Mercedes.

_**Hey boo! So I just overheard some weird stuff - Blaine and Santana are only fake dating! Apparently Blaine has some sort of secret thing with someone, couldn't figure out who, but apparently Blaine is a beard. BRITTANY AND SANTANA ARE TOGETHER. Mind blown. We need to serious gossip debrief. xoxoxo - Cedes **_

Kurt froze. Santana and Brittany? I supposed it made sense, and he already knew Blaine and Santana weren't ACTUALLY dating, but still.

But worse, Mercedes knew Blaine was dating someone else. She may not know who, or even that Blaine is gay, but he could be found out.

Kurt couldn't do that to Blaine.

Kurt couldn't help thinking that maybe everything would be easier if Kurt just disappeared.

* * *

**I'm SOOO sorry this took so long, I just started college and have been swamped. But now that I'm settled, hopefully I'll actually be able to update. I'm sorry this chapter is a bit rough and short, I'm unbetaed and I needed to get something out so yea. Be completely honest and review and tell me what you think! Again, I'm so sorry this took so long! ~Hannah **


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